A really awesome poem I wrote all by myself

Why is the rustling of a newspaper just back up noise to ignore
Have you ever noticed the minor sounds of life around you
Made them major
Given them center stage
The whisper of carpet collapsing beneath your feet
The sound of your fingertips brushing your lover’s arm
The squish of water passing through your throat

You know, no one does
I don’t
The whole newspaper thing, I stumbled on by accident
It was a deafeningly silent mid day, mid week moment
On my back porch
I had grown tired of the crossword puzzle making me feel like an idiot
And had opted to flip the page
To tackle the word jumble
I had no choice but to notice the rustle
(Do the Rustle!)

It was not a zen moment
Not a second of enlightenment
A glimpse into the true nature of things
The Buddha nature
A haiku
It was a happenstance
And as is in my nature, I
For the sake of my pompous pontification
Hopped up onto my pedestal
And said,
“blah blah blah”
I’m a douche