A Highly Evolved BuddhaChrist Hybrid

Today I am calm.
We are leaving Puerto Escondido in a few hours. My emotions are mixed.
I will miss the ocean, the very clean and lovely Pacific that slides onto these Mexican shores. I will miss it`s perfect temperature, it`s sharklessness. I will miss swimming alone at the end of the cove, god know`s what swimming beneath me, and feeling unafraid. For the first time of swimming alone in the ocean, unafraid. Feeling free even. Feeling held by her.
I will miss the quiet that comes over me, just looking out, the calm. Listening to the rythm of endless waves breaking, returning. Imagining the vastness, which I`m sure I can`t properly imagine. The grip it has on my heart. That feeling. I can`t quite understand it.
The ocean can change you. You can learn alot, you can learn everything from her, if you just sit beside her for a while, and listen.
Will I be able to live, landlocked again, now that I`ve understood this?
Maybe that is the feeling I get in my chest. A bit of my heart leaving, staying behind in those peaceful but powerful waters, waiting.
Maybe I`ve found a little piece of my place in the world. A clue.
So I am a little sad to leave. But I know I am leaving to find those other pieces. I am going to find my treasure.
Like they say, if you love something, let it go, and if it comes back, it was truly meant to be. So I have to let the ocean go, for a while. You can`t complete a puzzle with only one piece. And when I`m meant to, I`ll return, and there she`ll be.
In that way, I`m happy. For everything you leave behind, there is something new, and my "personal legend" awaits to unfold. And I know that all my Fatima`s will wait.
I just read The Alchemist again. Obviously.

So today I am calm.
Yesterday, I was not so calm.
Things were bad for James and I. There was alot of negativity. Something beautiful could have died.
But we cried and connected, and things are better now.
I learned that when two people who love each other, who are best friends, are each going through something, something that they have to go through themselves, something that will take them away from each other for a while, they have to be there for one another. They have to stay connected. They have to maintain and strengthen their bonds at that time, more than ever. I think that only when that happens, love can survive anything. Even if you can´t be together, be there. Don`t let it die, and don`t let the other be alone.
You know what I`m saying?
Maybe I`ll regret having written that for the whole world to read. Whatever.
I have no subscribers.

I`m kind of looking forward to this bus ride. This 40 hour bus ride.
Not because my best sleep is bus sleep. Now, I know this is hard to believe, but I actually sleep terribly on a bus. Crazy, huh? And also, not because I enjoy eating for each meal, bus terminal food, such as soggy tortas of cheese, one jalapeño, warm mayo, and a sad little piece of ham flavored processed meat food. Maybe my culinary sensibilities are a tad unrefined, I don`t know.
What I`m looking forward to is a time for reflection. Of few options for entertainment. I`ll probably write alot in my journal. And I always like that. I`m sure I`ll have a tremendous amount of epiphanies and personal revelations, which I`ll write about for hours, and then discuss with James, which will, in turn, lead to more revelations. I`ll probably be an entirely different person, a highly evolved BuddhaChrist hybrid of enlightenment, on arrival in Austin.
Forget the ocean and those cardial chunks of mine left to drift. I`m going for transcendence baby!
No, but really. I am looking forward to those long rides, those hours of no responsibility, when I can be left to dream.

If anyone is interested in seeing what I`ve been writing lately, click on the entry title for a link to my travel blog.