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So, in a halting, sputtering, clumsily stuttering manner, I am attempting to transform myself into a journalist, a documenter of the professional variety, not through school, and drab papers on uninteresting topics I am forced to trifle away my creative quasi-genius on. Instead, I am starting a new personal campaign I’m calling the “Stop watching TV it will never help you accomplish anything you want, except maybe slightly improving your cooking skills” campaign.

I’m constantly coming across calls for entries for restaurant reviews, articles about Austin places and events, and the like, yet not only do I not write, and subsequently enter nothing, I don’t even peel my ass off of the couch, grab a Chronicle, and go out to see what my city has to offer. So, this week, Thursday to be precise, I’m going to go to an adult spelling bee at Fado, and if I’m feeling especially gutsy, I may even enter, since, as most know, I am an exceptional speller.

Then, on November 14th, Cris and I will drive all the way out to Marble Falls for a play which we’ll be seeing free of cost, save for the bajillion dollars in gas it will cost to get there. My goal is to bring my camera, if I can manage to remember it this time, and a tablet and document the shit out of it. I will then write a review so compelling, it will outshine the play itself, making all who read it, but did not see the play, glad they saved their gas and the environment. I will also do this for the spelling bee that I’m going to win.

Cris is usually reluctant to even want to accompany me on my unexecuted excursion ideas, no matter how economical. He’s agreed to the play, but I think the spelling bee is going to take some work. But regardless of whether my couch warming companion is willing to come along or not, I’m going. I mean, how many times can you watch the same episodes of Scrub’s?