Air and Crises

Two weeks to Mexico.
Two weeks to another chance.
A chance to allow my environment to catalyze me instead of vice versa.
Another chance...

Do you ever feel like you're running out of chances?
Through trial and error the options are being eliminated, that perceived window growing more and more closed.
Options for what?
For happiness...fulfillment?
And was it ever a chance if it was never the right one to begin with?
So, do you ever feel like you're running out of percieved chances?
I guess the answer to that is always yes, because if it was no, you'd be wrong.
You are always running out of perceived chances, and you never run out of real chances because there is only one.
One set.
There is one right way for me.
But is it in Mexico?
Who can say?

I'm listening to Air. A new favorite. Cherry Blossom Girl.
http://atomfilms.shockwave.com/af/content/air_cherry_blossom
Watch this video. Also listen to it.
I drew yesterday. I wrote in my journal.
I wallowed, felt guilty, bitter, hopeless.
Everyday is the same.
Not every day, but everyday lately.

Jesus, the things I write about some times.
They're so 22.
The spring time of my discontent.
I'm beginning to wonder if life isn't just one continuous crisis interrupted sporadically by "coffee breaks" of happiness and understanding.
The toddler years of domestication and potty training, puberty, the early 20's identity crisis, the "oh shit I'm gonna die someday" crisis, the midlife crisis, the "oh shit I'm gonna die soon since I'm old" crisis, and the pervasive "why?" crisis, which can span almost the entire length of your life.
And these are just commonly known crises.
I'm only 22. Who knows what else lies in wait for me.
(cue God)
:::ahem...God?...your cue:::

Just joking.