Low

Even though I'm sure I am constantly littering my blog with whining rants about my special feelings, blah blah blah, I 'try' not to. Despite this most considerate effort, I'm abandoning it right now because I'm despressed and I want to whine.
I'm very sad, and I won't be able to get myself out of it by having winning thoughts or writing affirmations. I know that only time will heal my wounds yadda yadda, but I don't have time. In fact, my watch just broke about an hour ago. What does that tell you?
I am 25 years old and now find myself and 80% of my belongings living at my Aunt's house, and I'm crying 35% of the time at anything, and I'm trying to pump iron so I can feel good about one thing which is being hot, but I haven't crossed the border from Fatsylvania yet.
I'm here because I can't be the only one who tries. I can't be the only calm and reasonable one. I can't be the only one doing sweet things to show I care. I can't be the only one willing to do anything at all, because if only I do it, I may as well not have done it at all.
But I'm still in love.
I'm pretty sure that everyone thinks I'm a stupid idiot and that I suck, but I wouldn't really know since my phone gets no reception in BFE and my car is broken, so now my only friends are either canid or part of a soap opera cast and the only one I have to hold me at night, on the couch, is my purple teddy bear. Actually I hold the bear. This is very sad.
But hey, on the bright side I still have a keen sense of self pity.
And when will I stop looking out of the window every time I hear any sort of noise that could possibly be coming from outside, hoping that it's him, coming with flowers and promises of doing anything to make it work because that's how much he loves me?
The sooner the better. Delusional never really was my color.
Why am I constantly hearing the sound of car engines drawing near. I'm feeling low but I'm pretty sure I'm not that crazy yet. Talk to me when I start seeing headlights endlessly climbing the driveway.
Actually don't talk to me. Just have me committed.