Frio Frijoles

Someone follows my blog!

Well, I just went to Sonic to get a watermelon slush with half syrup, andI'm pretty darn sure that it has full syrup so I am devastated.
Also, watermelon tastes like vomit.
From now on I won't test fate by trying new slushes. I'm sticking with blue coconut from here on out.
I also ate a chili-cheese dog and a pack of Mike and Ikes from 7-11, since I'm on a diet.

Not.

But seriously I ate two bagels with cream cheese this morning, and about an hour and a half later, I threw them up, since I'm involuntarily bulemic.
Chili dogs just seem like the right thing to eat on an queasy stomach.

So I bought those previously mentioned pornos, and when I got home, I decided to preview them, you know, to make sure there was nothing too graphic for Cris.
As I'm watching one, Cris comes home, and starts unlocking the door. Fortunately I had enough foresight to lock the dead-bolt, but I panicked nonetheless.
After turning off the tv and dvd player really fast, I bolted over to the door and I kissed Cris, and immediately said, "I threw up both my bagels. But don't worry I brushed my teeth."
Real smooth.
To get him out of the way while I set up the porno-watching seduction I had planned, I told him to go take a shower and brush his teeth.
Of course he got all butt hurt at that, because it's really nice to come home and the first thing you're told is that you stink.
I say, "I have good intentions," and this pacified him not at all, so he stomped off to the bathroom.
Next thing I know, he's unscrewing the bathtub drain cover, and plunging the drain. When he came out for more supplies, I ask what the heck he's doing, and he said, "I told you that next time I take a shower, I'm going to clean out the drain.
To be fair, it had gotten to the point where one would no longer feel comfortable peeing as they showered.
Well, long story short, I tell him I was planning a seduction but was just trying to get prepared for it, and it didn't cheer him up, and his plumbing skills and tools were proving inadequate, and then his boss called him back in to work.
Needless to say, I had to watch the porno by myself.
C'est la vie...

Now he's still not home, we're having a severe thunderstorm warning, and a tornado watch, the sky is the color of a dead mackerel's eyeballs, and goddammit, I still want another chili dog!