I got one vote on a "shut the fuck up" at the end of a post!!!!!
I'm pretty sure this is the dramatic highlight of my day.
I was sad it wasn't accompanied by any comments, much less a hateful one!
I suppose I get some sort of demented charge out of people being mean or confrontational to me. My heart starts pounding, my brain racing to find an appropriate reaction.
I love it and I hate it.
But the ugly truth of the matter is, I spend more hours of my day imagining possible scenarios in which a violent showdown might occur than I do anything besides sleeping or working.
It's easy since it finds its way into most of my daily activities. What would go down if a perceived malicious askance glace turned into snarky comment? Would I have to throw down in the hallway of my school with a complete stranger? How would I take her down? If she's a hair puller, am I willing to risk my luxurious mane to win the fight? What if she's well versed in jiujitsu?
And what if a dissatisfied customer threw their drink on me? Or smashed a plate of cold, undercooked food into my chest? What would I say? I've come up with so many perfect things. Would I just clock her right there? Or if I was feeling espcecially testy, would I pick up the aforementioned plate and smash her face with it? How much time would I spend in jail for doing that?
I think these things and my heart gets to racing, and I just pray that someone will cross me, because goddamnit, I am prepared.
Let's not even get into constant car wreck fantasies whilst driving?
We all do that though, right?
The point is, if you feel like it, don't be afraid to drink your haterade and throw a little my way. It'll give me something to compulsively and systematically figure out how to approach, and finally, never deal with.
Maybe I have too much time on my hands.